Thanksgiving...I'm so grateful, AND so spent

Okay, so I know this is supposed to be my artistic presentation of what I'm feeling right now...well, screw that for today...

I'm drained...I've been working (my current occupation) like a mad woman. I still have a husband who has needs, a four year old who seems to think I'm Jesus (he follows me around like a disciple), an infant who is completely confused about why I keep leaving him with daddy, and a singing opportunity that I'm trying to prepare for...WFEWWW! SMH!

And to top it off, my house is a complete wreck, I can't stand it. My office and my car look just fine, car may need a little washing on the outside, but inside it's just fine. My office could use some fine tuning from our maintenance department, but desk is clean and everything is neat...but my house, complete disaster. SMH

And I'm old school, as in, I do the cooking, the cleaning, and the child raising all while working a demanding job and making sure I spend my time with the Lord. I don't know how my mother did it, all with me being a jerk half the time.

On top of that I have a great singing opportunity and a sista can't hit the note...what kind of nonsense is that. I keep going over it and over it. I even dreamed about it last night. Maybe I'm taking this a little too serious, but I take everything too serious. I have to be prepared for all opportunities and I feel like this one might end up being a bust, or is that the pessimist in me talking...don't know.

Now the weekend is over, even though I've been working like crazy at home, I still have so much to do before the year is up. I wish I could get some help at work, but it's like asking for help is always translated as "I need you to do some more work for me". But I just don't know that I can hit the year end deadline. So it's back to work today, working to prove myself in corporate America, show the boss man that I'm smarter, more dedicated, and more creative than any of the employees he's seen before, during, or after me!

Hey, this write your feelings out thing is pretty therapeutic, I should do this again, maybe I need two blogs...whatever...

DUECES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scared of what is to come...I can feel everything around me moving, changing direction

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson

It's almost like when Obama was to be inaugurated. We all knew November 4th, 2008 that January 20th was coming, but the anxiety of the moment still existed. You can't believe it's happening, it's like a dream, you're on a ride and you're the main attraction.

Yup, two degrees....

So, yup, graduated from good 'ol UK. But they almost gave me a heart attack last night when they played weak Miami of Ohio. Seriously, how do you struggle against Miami of Ohio? Not that I'm dissing, but really? They reminded me of the cardiac Cards out there. Still love my Cats and yes I still bleed blue, but dang, can they work it out for a sista. All I know is they need to get on that Rick Pitino workout plan. Those dudes looked super tired and wornout. Did they condition at all during the off season, I'm going with a no on that.

Amazing, He has saved me yet again!!!!!!

1 I give you all the credit, God— you got me out of that mess,
you didn't let my foes gloat.
2-3 God, my God, I yelled for help
and you put me together.
God, you pulled me out of the grave,
gave me another chance at life
when I was down-and-out.
4-5 All you saints! Sing your hearts out to God!
Thank him to his face!
He gets angry once in a while, but across
a lifetime there is only love.
The nights of crying your eyes out
give way to days of laughter.
6-7 When things were going great
I crowed, "I've got it made.
I'm God's favorite.
He made me king of the mountain."
Then you looked the other way
and I fell to pieces.
8-10 I called out to you, God;
I laid my case before you:
"Can you sell me for a profit when I'm dead?
auction me off at a cemetery yard sale?
When I'm 'dust to dust' my songs
and stories of you won't sell.
So listen! and be kind!
Help me out of this!"
11-12 You did it: you changed wild lament
into whirling dance;
You ripped off my black mourning band
and decked me with wildflowers.
I'm about to burst with song;
I can't keep quiet about you.
God, my God,
I can't thank you enough.

Psalm 30

I'm done...

Life is bare

Gloom and misery everywhere

Stormy weather

Just can't get my poor self together

It's Rainin All The Time

The time

...

I Walk Around Heavy Hearted And Sad

Night comes around

And I'm still feeling bad

Rain's pourin down

Blindin Every Hope I Had

This Pitterin Patterin

Beatin And Spattering

Drives Me Mad

Love, Love, Love

This Misery's Just Too Much For me

...

Can't go on

Everything I have is gone

Stormy weather

Since my man and I ain't together

It's raining all the time

Keeps raining all the time

Lena Horne - Stormy Weather